John – Leela School Testimony

Hi friends, as I’m writing this report, my wife Traudy and I are on a ferry to New York City to consult with the first of three top aortic heart surgeons.  Over the next few weeks we will try and come up with a solution for a deteriorating heart problem that can not be easily resolved. I have tears in my eyes as I travel to NYC, but not from fear or dread. Rather I am filled with immense gratitude for the freedom I enjoy.

Life appears so beautiful that it is touching my very soul. There is a complete lack of suffering, anxiety, or negative thoughts keeping my attention. Instead, I embrace it all and am filled with an ever growing love that bubbles deep within me. I am in awe of the beauty of everything that is unfolding.

After my first week at Leela in Ashland, just nine months ago, I knew I had changed forever. However, I would from time to time think “oh, now I’ve got it”, or, “oh damn, now I’ve lost it, I need to get it back’. Now the tears come from the knowing that I can’t lose it. IT is who I am. I am blessed beyond imagination.

What an incredible gift to have life throw everything it can at you and to still be at peace within yourself and only feel gratitude for each breath. To all my beautiful friends at Leela, both those whom I’ve been fortunate enough to spend time with in Ashland or Maui, or those brothers and sisters I haven’t met yet, I want you to know I am forever in love with you.

From the bottom of my heart I want to say thank you for the contribution you all were in helping to get me to this empty space. Imagine, at 76 years of age, feeling completely fulfilled in life so that not even the threat of death can rain on life’s parade. How sad and desperate would my my life look like from this window seat going across the Hudson River without the truth that came so expertly and lovingly through the Leela School.

Without Leela I know I would be suffering and instead I’d be sitting here as a victim, feeling sorry for myself, making Traudy’s life miserable, spewing ugly narratives of “why me.”  Thank you Ramana, Papaji, Eli my brother, Gangaji my Light and heart, and Jared, Lisa, Stevie, Joey, Leigh and all those whom I’ve met and love from around the world. You know who you are. I must be among the happiest of men on the planet.

I am in the deepest of gratitude for your love and teachings. I am becoming more awake every day. A never ending journey to myself and God. All will be beautiful, I assure you. As it can be no other way. See you soon. Time to enjoy the scenery.

In deepest love,

John