Reading the latest edition of Eli Jaxon-Bear´s classic Enneagram book “Fixation to Freedom,” these words caught my attention: “We are all struggling, but how far have we gone?” – Kabir. How far have I gone? That is the essential question! That is what makes a difference in my life, and in the lives of those around me.
The first edition of the Enneagram of Liberation, as the subtitle of the book says, was given to me by someone who was a student of Eli’s at the time, in the early years of this millennium. While feeling overwhelmed by the effort to mentally grasp the information provided in these pages, to my surprise I discovered that the vibration of the truth, that is being reflected through the Enneagram, found its way into my life without studying the book in order to “get it”. The Enneagram is an ancient tool for self-inquiry, mapping our unconscious patterns of movement, thus pointing us to the root cause of suffering. For years, while being the mother of young children, it served me as a guide, almost a manual. And when I picked it up only a year later the process had continued. My understanding widened. Life itself “taught” me more, and it was such a support to see my own patterns, and those of my family members, and not having to believe them as being THE truth.
One of my spiritual wake-up calls was—and is—to see the different movements of mind, and the “dance” this creates between people. One person comes and wants something, and the other moves away to keep her/his space. Or another person moves against, and gets a coming closer in response. If this is not taken personally, a lot of space opens up in relationships!
In my own life, the struggling reached a climax when a dear friend moved away, breaking my heart. And it broke all the way; I had struggled so much and hadn’t gone far. In fact, I had to admit to myself, I found myself further away from being in peace and having a clear focus than when I started into my adult life. So I reached out to find Eli Jaxon-Bear again, and booked a spiritual retreat. This was fully beyond the life I was leading at the time.
The next year was the first year for the Leela School of Awakening to teach hypnotherapy in Amsterdam, and here I found exactly the type of tools—skilful means—I had been looking for to deepen and expand my work with couples and families. I also found a therapeutic approach that uses the client’s own resources, supporting in a non-directive way the unfolding of that person’s unique qualities.
Now the search is over. No more struggling to go anywhere.
“You know the sprout is hidden in the seed;” that’s Kabir’s first line. And all that seed needs is fertile ground. The Leela School has proved to provide this fertile ground: support from the teachers, mentors and fellow students by being True Friends, with an open heart and a silent mind. Leaving their own stories, expectations and advice aside to hold the secure and loving space for the innate wisdom to show. Such grace. A blessing.